Information & Resources
Domestic Violence Awareness
YWCA Enid is dedicated to helping survivors of domestic violence. Here, you'll find essential information on what is domestic violence, what to do if you have been abused, and safety planning. Let's work together to raise awareness, provide resources, and foster a community committed to building healthy relationships!
What is Domestic Violence↘
Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship.
Types of Domestic Abuse:
Physical Abuse involves the use of force to inflict bodily harm or injury on the victim. This can include hitting, punching, kicking, slapping, or any other form of physical violence aimed at causing pain or injury.
Psychological Abuse inflicts emotional harm through various manipulative tactics. This includes stalking, where the perpetrator monitors and follows the victim's movements, instilling a constant sense of fear and surveillance. Additionally, threats of violence are often used to exert control and intimidate the victim into compliance.
Emotional Abuse undermines the victim's self-esteem and autonomy, often through tactics aimed at humiliation and isolation. Perpetrators may engage in behaviors such as constant criticism, public humiliation, or efforts to cut off the victim from friends and family, leaving them feeling isolated and dependent.
Verbal Abuse involves the use of words to degrade, insult, or intimidate the victim. This can include name-calling, belittling remarks, or yelling, all aimed at undermining the victim's sense of self-worth and dignity.
Sexual Abuse involves any forced or coerced sexual activity without consent. This can range from unwanted touching to rape and can occur within intimate relationships, where the perpetrator exploits their position of power to engage in non-consensual sexual acts.
Financial Abuse involves controlling or manipulating the victim's financial resources to maintain power and control. This may include restricting access to money, preventing the victim from working or attending school, or forcing them to hand over their earnings.
Spiritual Abuse involves using religious or spiritual beliefs to exert control and manipulate the victim. This can include preventing the victim from practicing their faith, imposing religious beliefs, or using religious texts to justify abusive behavior.
Digital Abuse refers to the use of technology, such as smartphones, computers, or social media, to harass, intimidate, or control the victim. This can include sending threatening messages, monitoring the victim's online activity, or spreading rumors or lies about them online.
Stalking is the repeated and unwanted attention, harassment, or surveillance of a person. This can involve following the victim, monitoring their movements, making unwanted contact, or engaging in other behaviors that instill fear and distress.
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Red Flags are not always recognizable at first — which is part of what makes them so dangerous. However, they tend to grow bigger and become more problematic over time.
Does your partner…
- Get jealous easily or accuse you of having an affair?
- Have abuse in family history?
- Appears to good to be true, just like you or perfect for you
- Makes unreasonable or unrealistic demands.
- Accusing you of being "too sensitive," "too emotional," or "crazy“.
- Accusing you of being selfish, needy, or materialistic if you express your wants or needs
- Make you account for every moment you are away?
- Restrain you?
- Ridicule you?
- Manipulate you with lies or promises?
- Make you feel you don’t have the right to say “no” or disagree?
- Isolate you from family, friends, work?
- Make all the decisions?
- Have previous contact with the justice system?
- Control all of the money?
- Have weapons?
- Track your location?
Your relationship has become abusive when your Partner:
- Threaten to hurt you, your children, or your pets?
- Hit, kicked, shoved, strangled or grabbed you?
- Throw objects at you or destroy your property?
- Coerce you into sexual acts you are not wanting?
- Discourage you from taking classes or seeking employment?
- Limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
- Sometimes act like two different people?
- Distort the truth or make you question your reality?
- Give you intense and persistent attention early on?
- Say hurtful things and then plays it off as joke?
- Withhold affection or ignore you as a form of punishment.
- Blame you for what they did when “you upset them”
- Monitors you digitally including text messages, social media, email, and location sharing.
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Does your partner…
- View you as an equal?
- Respect you and treat you fairly?
- Make you feel safe (emotionally and physically)?
- Discuss disagreements peacefully?
- Allow the relationship to go at your pace?
- Act as a positive role model for your children?
- Value your opinions?
- Communicate openly and honestly?
- Support your goals in life?
- Make family and money decisions together with you?
- Compromise?
- Have a positive image of family?
- Make your friends and family feel comfortable?
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There are questions to ask yourself, if you answer yes to any of them you are at a higher risk of being harmed in your relationship.
Has our partner ever used or threatened to use a weapon again you?
Has your partner ever threatened to kill you or those you love?
Has your partner ever tried to choke/strangle you?
Has your partner ever threatened to kill themselves?
Do you think your partner could kill you?
Has your partner ever threaten or abused the family pet?
Has the violence increased in severity o frequency of the past year?
Has your partner ever forced you to have sex?
For Survivors↘
You are not to blame for the domestic violence! No one ever "deserves" to experience abuse, no matter what. The abuse is not your fault. You are not alone.
What to do if you have experienced Domestic Violence?
Experiencing domestic abuse is traumatic and overwhelming, but it's important to know that there are steps you can take to seek support, ensure your safety, and pursue justice if you choose to do so.
Ensure Your Safety: If you're in immediate danger, call 911. If you're not in immediate danger, find a safe place and call YWCA Enid’s Crisis Hotline at 580-234-7644 to speak to an advocate.
Seek Medical Attention: It's crucial to get medical care as soon as possible, even if you don't have visible injuries. Call YWCA Enid’s SANE Program at 580-234-7644 to be seen by our SANE nurse. The nurse can check for physical injuries, provide treatment, and address concerns about injuries resulting from domestic violence. Additionally, the nurse can document incidences of domestic violence for future legal proceedings.
Documenting Evidence: If you think you may want to report domestic violence to law enforcement at anytime in the future, documenting evidence is important. Methods of self documenting abuse include keeping a journal of incidents and feelings, recording statements from yourself, your partner, or witnesses, documenting dates, times, and descriptions of incidents, and taking photos of damage or injuries.
Consider Reporting to Law Enforcement: Reporting the domestic abuse to law enforcement is a personal decision and not the right choice for everyone. However, if you choose to report, you can contact your local police department or visit with YWCA Enid’s Crisis Center Advocates who can help you initiate the reporting process. Understand that reporting can be a difficult and lengthy process, and you have the right to take your time and make decisions that feel right for you. Oklahoma Victims Bill of Rights
Consider getting a Protective Order: If you are afraid for your safety, YWCA Enid’s Court Advocate can provide support and information about the Protective Order process and and empower you to understand your options and informed make choices.
Explore Counseling and Support Services: You don't have to go through this alone. YWCA Enid’s Counselors offer non-judgmental support and promote healthy coping strategies. We provide counseling for survivors of traumatic events, with licensed professional counselors available onsite to assist those in need.
Take Care of Yourself: Remember to prioritize self-care during this challenging time. This might include practicing mindfulness or relaxation techniques, engaging in activities you enjoy, getting enough rest and nutrition, and working on returning to your usual routine.
Remember, every survivor's experience is unique, and there is no "right" way to respond to domestic abuse. It's essential to do what feels safest and most empowering for you. You deserve support and care as you navigate the healing process.
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You deserve to feel safe and respected in all aspects of your life. No one has the right to make you feel threatened, belittled, or harmed. It's important to prioritize your well-being and mental health above all else. When others suggest that you should return to your abuser or minimize the harm that has been done, it can be confusing and disheartening. However, remember that you are the best judge of your own experiences and feelings. Only you know the full extent of what you've been through and how it has affected you.
Making the decision to leave an abusive situation is incredibly brave and often very difficult. It's a decision that should be based on your needs, feelings, and safety, not on the opinions of others who may not fully understand your situation. People may mean well, but they might not have the full picture or the emotional capacity to comprehend the severity of your experience. Your life and well-being are worth protecting. You have the right to live free from fear, intimidation, and harm. Surround yourself with supportive people who respect your choices and provide the encouragement you need. Seek out resources and professionals who specialize in helping individuals in abusive situations, as they can offer valuable guidance and support tailored to your specific needs. In the end, your safety and happiness are what matter most. Trust yourself to make the right decisions for your life, and know that there are people and resources out there ready to help you every step of the way.
Safety Planning↘
Having a safety plan is crucial, whether you're deciding to remain in your current relationship or preparing to exit.
Leaving an abusive relationship can be dangerous, so it's crucial to plan ahead for your safety. Call YWCA Enid’s Crisis Hotline at 580-234-7644 to speak to an advocate for support and assistance in creating a safety plan.
Your plan should include keeping records of any abusive behaviors, finding a safe location, packing an emergency bag with essentials, securing safe communication, and storing important documents off-site. If you have children, develop a safety plan for them as well. When planning your exit, choose a time when the abuser is least likely to be violent and have transportation ready. Implement safety measures like changing locks, phone numbers, and passwords. Consider legal protection such as obtaining a restraining order. Reach out to YWCA Enid’s Legal Aid for support and assistance in you legal rights.
Trust your instincts and prioritize your safety above all else. If you're unsure or feel unsafe, seek help from law enforcement or emergency services immediately. Remember, you are not to blame for the abuse, and you deserve to live free from fear. Remember, leaving an abusive relationship can be a complex and challenging process, and your safety is the top priority. Seek support from trusted individuals and organizations as you navigate this difficult time.
FAQs
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Yes, men can be victims of domestic violence. Although domestic violence is often discussed in the context of women being victims, men can and do experience abuse in intimate relationships.
Challenges that men may face include:
Stigma: Societal norms and stereotypes about masculinity can make it difficult for men to come forward or seek help. They may fear being judged or not taken seriously.
Lack of Resources: There may be fewer resources and support services specifically tailored for male victims compared to those available for female victims.
Underreporting: Men may be less likely to report abuse due to fear of disbelief or embarrassment, leading to underreporting and less visible data on the extent of the issue.
It's important for support systems and services to be inclusive and sensitive to the needs of all victims, regardless of gender. YWCA services are available to anyone who is in need of our help regardless of gender or relationship.
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Yes, domestic violence can significantly affect children. Children who witness domestic violence can experience a range of emotional, behavioral, and developmental issues. They may suffer from:
Emotional Trauma: Feelings of fear, anxiety, and sadness can be prevalent. They may also experience confusion and guilt, believing they are somehow responsible for the violence.
Behavioral Problems: Children may exhibit aggressive behavior, anxiety, depression, or withdrawal. Some may struggle with trust issues and difficulties in forming relationships.
Developmental Delays: Exposure to violence can affect cognitive and emotional development, leading to issues with concentration, learning, and social skills.
Physical Health Issues: Stress and trauma can impact physical health, potentially leading to frequent illnesses or complaints of physical pain without a clear medical cause.
Academic Challenges: They may have trouble focusing in school, leading to poor academic performance and difficulties with peer relationships.
Providing a safe and supportive environment, counseling, and access to mental health resources are crucial for helping children recover and thrive despite the trauma of domestic violence.
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Visit the Supporting Survivors Page for information on how to offer the right support.
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National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) leading nonprofit in providing essential tools and support to help survivors of domestic violence
End Violence Oklahoma A network of frontline providers united to represent the statewide voice for survivors of domestic and sexual violence and their children in Oklahoma.
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General domestic violence statistic
An average of 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States — more than 12 million women and men over the course of a single year.
Almost half of all women and men in the US have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime (48.4% and 48.8%, respectively).
The presence of a gun in domestic violence situations increases the risk of homicide for women by 500%. More than half of women killed by gun violence are killed by family members or intimate partners.
Women ages 18 to 24 and 25 to 34 generally experience the highest rates of intimate partner violence.
30% to 60% of intimate partner violence perpetrators also abuse children in the household.
One study found that children exposed to violence in the home were 15 times more likely to be physically and/or sexually assaulted than the national average.
According to the US Advisory Board on Child Abuse and Neglect, domestic violence may be the single major precursor to fatalities from child abuse and neglect in the US
96% of employed domestic violence victims experience problems at work because of the abuse.
Current or former intimate partners accounted for nearly 33% of women killed in US workplaces between 2003 and 2008.
Approximately 84% of victims are psychologically abused by their partners; half are physically abused and one third experiences sexual coercion.
Victims of digital abuse and harassment are twice as likely to be physically abused, twice as likely to be psychologically abused, and 5 times as likely to be sexually coerced.
1 in 10 high school students has experienced physical violence from a dating partner in the past year.